Sometimes I advise parents of teens that their greatest strategy could be in biting their tongue. This is some of the hard work of parenting.

Much of the time our children understand what must be done. We have invested years in teaching and modeling. In the stress of a challenge, choice, or crisis may not be the time to lecture. You are near to encourage, to observe that there may be some further work to be done, and to provide help or advice – but only as needed.

Good for you for your timing, for your restraint, for your meaningful silence. This is not a gift given in anger or superiority or manipulation, but rather in trust and respect. You know the best of your child and allowed them a chance to come to themselves.

I didn’t say it (and I didn’t need to!)

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