Many conflicting things about parenting are true. Our roles are so complex. Whether in a struggle over a behavior or in board game – winning and losing can be complicated. We have to constantly ask ourselves: “What is needed?” “What happens next?” “What is the deep learning here?”

It is super important to “win” – to get our way, to follow through firmly, to hold to a standard… But it is also vital to “lose” – to back down, to give in, to admit we were wrong, to listen and adjust graciously.

In a tricky struggle you prevailed. In another conflict you yielded. This is the way it should be. Both were important. Winning, as a parent, sometimes means losing. You are doing right in striving for this balance.

  I won. I lost.